"Thank fuck we made it."
said my husband, Jesse, with tears in his eyes.
He had just finished proofreading the first draft of this website. Uff, it was a moment of realisation for both of us - seeing with hindsight (in these pages) why & how we had been lost, how we very nearly lost each other for good, and yes, - thank fuck - that we had made it through.
So, I’ve been there.
So, I've been there
Just like you, I have faced moments of thinking it might be over.
Gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, sickening moments of feeling like I had failed terribly. Even with a mahoosive metaphorical mountain of qualifications and years of working with individuals and couples, I faced this all-too-common vulnerable human crisis of losing love and not knowing how to find it again.
This means I come bearing hope from two powerful sources - from the depth of my personal history and the breadth of my professional experience.
So, I've been there
Just like you, I have faced moments of thinking it might be over.
Gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, sickening moments of feeling like I had failed terribly. Even with a mahoosive metaphorical mountain of qualifications and years of working with individuals and couples, I faced this all-too-common vulnerable human crisis of losing love and not knowing how to find it again.
This means I come bearing hope from two powerful sources - from the depth of my personal history and the breadth of my professional experience.
Facts about me
You didn't ask, so I won't flood you with them. Treat the below info as a choose-your-own-adventure, in which you decide which drop down headers you want to explore further (if at all).
You didn't ask, so I won't flood you with them. Treat the below info as a choose-your-own-adventure, in which you decide which drop down headers you want to explore further (if at all).
Things you might like to know about me as a professional
My qualifications and guiding theories
For more in depth information, check out My Philosophy Page
Inner world
Humanistic Psychotherapist (UK qualified)
Internal Family Systems (IFS) L2 Qualified
The wisdom traditions (Zen Buddhism and Daoism
The Enneagram
Developmental Psychology
Relational world
Qualified Couples Therapist
Intimacy from the Inside Out (IFIO) qualified
Qualified Conflict mediator
Attachment Theory
The developmental model (Ellyn Bader)
Non-violent communication
Embodied world
Bodylistening (Tim Brown)
Focusing Orientated Psychotherapy
Somatic IFS
Somatic Experiencing
PACT therapy (Stan Tatkin)
Systemic world
Professional Level Integral Coach
Spiral Dynamics (qualified practitioner)
Systemic Family Therapy
Theory U (Otto Sharma
Integral Theory
My Core Commitments to you
I do not apply any methodology that I have not tested on myself. It is vulnerable stuff I'm inviting you into and I believe I can only ask you to boldly go where I've been willing to go myself
I believe that everyone is right, and everyone is only ever partially right. Just like the blind men and the elephant, you each have a piece of the truth - our job is to put them together to make a whole. This means I never take sides.
I adore my couples in the most appropriate and ethical way! Under the layers of pain and protections, I help you uncover the core being inside your selves and each other and to rediscover the true gold that you both are. I usually spot that gold in the first session, though it may take you a little longer.
How I show up in the "room"
As a human being with my real personality:
Sometimes as a therapist (going deep)
Sometimes as a coach (supporting forward)
Sometimes as a tutor (sharing insight)
Sometimes as a fellow traveller (marvelling at the complexity and beauty of it all)
I will laugh and celebrate with you when breakthroughs happen
I may cry with you when we touch into grief - there is no "mine" and "yours" when it comes to grief
I will make mistakes and I will own them and make repairs
To make all of the therapeutic richness safe and dependable, I also hold firm boundaries: confidentiality, timing, cost, that I am here for you and not vice versa
Things you might like to know about me as a human:
The things I love
My morning coffee. Seriously, I sometimes fall asleep with a smile on my face, just knowing that this glorious brew awaits me on the other side of zzzz.
That first squishy morning cuddle with my daughter (after I’ve had my morning coffee obvs). When her brain is not fully awake yet, so I get the simplicity of just holding her weight and feeling for a moment that all is right in the world.
The curve of my husband's jawline. ‘Nuff said
Singing and dancing. When joy, grief, love and fury become sound and movement
The things I am exceptionally good at
Both/anding: my particular upbringing (as an outsider abroad) taught me early on that very few things in this world are fixed truths. I can hold complexity, polarity and multiple perspectives simultaneously and I help you do the same
Standing in the unknown without flinching away AND also using my insatiable playful mind to both experiment and make sense of things
Making the ordinary, extraordinary. In particular, my husband says I have the skill of making anywhere feel like a home within moments. Hotel rooms, impersonal Airbnbs, the inside of a tent... Give me 20 minutes, some tape and the contents of my handbag and my daughter's pockets and you’ll feel the love in a jiffy.
Integral theory: oh Lordy this stuff satisfies my insatiable synthesising mind no end and it holds… (unfinished)
Want to cultivate a beautiful inner & relational world?
Things no one needs to know…
I have been blessed by Mother Teresa
(She was sick and being treated in the hospital on the day I was born. She came to bless us newborns.)
I have lived in five countries on two different continents
I have grown roots here in the Southeast of England and have been here for almost 20 years now, but the first half of my life was not so settled...
Italy
Germany
Portugal
Peru
England
I speak five languages (six after a glass of wine)
three of them fluently
one of those using hands and no voice
the others are getting a little sketchy as time goes by
I am hypermobile
which means I have some killa party tricks up my sleeve, but also experience significant pain if I don’t keep up my strength… I don’t always keep up my strength 😬
I am very likely some form of neurodivergent
My daughter is an “extrovert inside the nervous system of an introvert”; diagnosed with autism and soon to be assessed for ADHD
My daughter and I are very similar.
We are both amazing