My Philosophy

"In a divided world,

wholeness is revolution"

"In a divided world,

wholeness is revolution"

My Approach

...and why I created Evolutionary Love

Over the years I trained in many different approaches to psychotherapy & relationship transformation, each with its own strengths and its own blind-spots. Evolutionary Love is a wholeness approach to relationships that combines the best of these different schools of thought with the insight I've gained from working with 100s of couples.

Over the years I have trained in many different approaches to psychotherapy & relationship transformation, each with its own strengths and its own blind-spots. Evolutionary Love is a wholeness approach to relationships that combines the best of these different schools of thought with the insight I've gained from working with 100s of couples.

Things that break my heart

That our society is so obsessed with new love , youth & beginnings that it totally missed the depth of joy waiting for us in grown-up love, maturity & endings

That generational “every day, little t” trauma gets passed on unknowingly resulting in us seeing as “normal” what is actually super fucked up

That the primitive parts of our brain - that are SO good at survival but terrible at connection and growth - are encouraged to take the lead in our relationships and we don’t even know they are doing it

That the only way we know how to belong is by agreeing on the same people to other

That we do the exact same thing internally: cutting off aspects of self in order to belong and thereby sacrificing our wholeness

That on a relational level this results in all sorts of flavours of hell between people who just wanted to love and be loved

That on a larger scale this results in divided societies, our civil wars, our hatred and ultimately our failure to protect our planet home

What I am on this planet to do

To continually learn and expand ways of cultivating wholeness on an individual, relational & collective level

Hint: wholeness IS belonging that includes difference!

To bring compassion to the depth of human suffering, especially in the vulnerable and extremely difficult arena of intimate relationships

To always seek the both/and in every polarity, seeking the wisdom that can be integrated from each “side” into a whole that is powerful, inclusive and real

A note on my content and food

I believe that “consuming excessive content” is part of the normal that is actually fucked up

We all know that overeating is detrimental to our physical health, so let’s face that consuming too much content is detrimental to our mental/emotional/spiritual health

Food & content are not just meant to be consumed, they are meant to be digested, they are meant to nourish

My favourite meals are shared “tapas” - a table of little dishes that get passed around, nibbled on, commented on, delighted in…

I bear this in mind in everything I create, including these pages

If I have left anything unclear by attempting not to overfeed, please do reach out and ask! If you’re hungry and wanting “seconds”, oh my, you are so welcome to have more